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| | | | apologize to your child from bringing them into a family that is screwed up beyond hope?
How can you repair damage done by those that are suppose to love you and your children beyond question?
How do you explain cruelty by adults to a small child who is losing their joy because it is a no win situation? How do I explain what I do not even understand? |
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| | | | It isn’t easy and there is no overnight fix. I don’t know all the circumstances, is the child still with the parents, what is the age of the child? What type of abuse?
When a child grows up in a dysfunctional household (everyone is dysfunctional to a point), by the age of 5/6 they develop their own personality, and this is the type of person they will become in life. They have already learned their first life lesson; unfortunately they develop mom and dads negative actions and thoughts.
To heal a child from abusive parents takes years of positive reinforcement. They need to have a stable environment with structure. Therapy should be considered but sometimes that can be more damaging.
You need to explain to them that their mother or father are not healthy. Never use negative words while trying to explain their parent’s behavior.
Without more detail it is difficult to analyze the situation.
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| | | | | You don't....you can't.. until they are an adult..... I like most of what Sasha said (I am not a huge believer in therapy these days with all the meds)... and being from one of those families I healed myself when I was old enough to. I thank teachers and mentors that put up with all my bullshit and showed me nothing but positive things. That believed in me. The greatest teacher I remember in highschool was feared as a strict man by most students, but he gave me chance after chance after chance. I remember that. Now in the field I'm in, I often come across kids from screwed up families, while I have to do my job , I do my best to reach out and, "plant a seed of hope". I will always fondly remember that teacher, and the hope he gave me by just believing in me... I think I have a duty to pass that on. |
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| | | | Porn helps....
*nods all helpful-like*
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A day without blood is like a day without sunshine... 
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Religion is regarded by the Common People as True,
by the Wise as False, and by the Rulers as Useful. |
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| | | | The hardest thing to convince a child of is that it wasn't their fault. Especially with abuse. Every child ends up believing they some how deserved what happened to them, and you need to make sure they know that it isn't their fault. They didn't deserve it at all, and really the person doing it is the only one to blame. It takes years to get past the idea of fault even at a young age. So that is my suggestion at least on where to start. Let the child know that they are not at fault at all. And that they are still a good person despite what happened.
Then work from there, once a child accepts that they are still 'good' and they have no piece of the blame you can start trying to heal them. Me personally I find the best way is to just listen. They'll start opening up about it, just make sure the child knows it's not a taboo topic. It's ok to talk to you about it, and that you'll be there to hold them if it makes them cry. But don't push it either, let them come to you about it.
And try to stay away from psychiatrists and psychologists. At least until their older and have already confessed it to some one close enough to hold them. People in those professions, as much as I love them, can be a bit cold about it, especially when the wound is still tender and the child still needs the comfort when it hurts. I DO suggest once the child has come to terms with it though, and is ok to stand on their own about it that you do give them the option of going to some form of counselor. But emotional support means the most to a young one.
Then again this is only speaking from my experience. And as we all know everyone is different. I hope this some how helps!
How many deaths will it take til we know that too many people have died. |
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